I have witnessed several national and international tragedies since I have become a mother. Most of them via the media. With each one I have felt a void of of life and laughter in my heart. My heart literally hurt when hearing the news of each community whose voices were drowned, blown up, obliterated by wind, or robbed of life through senseless, illogical violence. I have been trying to find the answer as I raise my children in this life.So I turn to what I know.

Through the persona of a pastor, I know this to be grief. I am well aware of the stages of grief; denial, Anger, Bargaining, depression Acceptance. I have always counseled others that anything is okay during grief; any odd behavior, like not eating or overrating, or ranting, or isolation. It's okay to stay in bed for days or to even be happy for no reason. I tell people that grief is so powerful an emotion that it becomes physical. We physically aren't the same person as we were before we lost someone close. We are different now. We will feel differently and act differently and think differently than we did before. We will likely be changed forever, but someday we will start to feel better, even normal and more like our old selves. But we will not be the same.

And we shouldn't be the same. We all lean on each other and have defined roles to care for each other and when anyone is missing from that complex dynamic, we are all changed. We all must adjust to new roles and new identities. We might go from being a caregiver to a care receiver, and that can be very foreign to us. We may feel like we've lost control or embarrassed that we are in need. We may have to reveal parts of our souls to strangers. We may find we are not in control of our emotions, which may cause us to doubt our grip on reality. From all of these changes in ourselves we may try to be and act normally; having intelligent conversations, being polite with our words, or trying to find solutions to the problem of being unprepared for grief and disaster.

And we will fail. We fail because we have not dug down to the deeper issue of fear that is at the roots of loss and grief. Fear is what drives a person to pick up a weapon and aim it at a defenseless victim. Fear fools us into thinking we can gain some control over our lives by having power over others. And Fear begets more fear. In our interdependence, when one is motivated by fear, he or she can effect all those in his or her circle of influence with fear, whether it be with a weapon, with force, with governance or with words.

On National Public Radio's "Talk of the Nation," we are being asked, What conversation should we be having?" The president answered this in his speech on Monday night when he said, the only answer is love. Love is the answer to fear. Love is the only thing that will move us from denial to acceptance, out of anger and into happiness, out of bargaining illogically and looking for a source to blame to mindful co-creation, and through depression to hopeful transformation. Love is the conversation we should be having.

When we recognize how much fear we have allowed to drive our news reporting, our preaching, our teaching, our politicking, our water cooler conversations, our social media interactions and our personal relationships we can make the choice to reject the power of fear. We have seen how fear plays itself out and it is unacceptable and deplorable. Then we can consciously, in our individual lives and in our corporate lives, choose to love one another and choose to base our actions and decisions on foundations of love.

Love is the answer and love transforms the world. Love is the answer to the root problem of fear in our society. Giving people hope by letting them know they are loved and valued gives people creative options for expressing themselves. While love may seem simplistic or even weak as a leadership strategy, we have seen what the opposite has done. Yet we all have the capacity to love and therefore to make real lasting in our world. Why not try responding and beginning with love this time around. The president told us, "if there is one step we can take to save another child... surely we have an obligation to try." Let's try love.

I am hearing a lot of conversations about gun control, mental illness and increased security in schools all to help us prevent a disaster like the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre. While conversations in general are usually helpful, especially for sorting out grief and other emotions, I don't think that any measures me implement as a nation will be effective in preventing violence until we all take responsibility for how we have allowed fear to dominate our thoughts, beliefs and actions. Until we can realize how that fear has effected the day to day lives of our society, no actions we take will have any lasting change. Change has to start with our worldview. We need a paradigm shift toward love rather than fear. The shift can begin with each individual who makes a conscious choice not to be afraid, but to be hopeful and envision a future that affirms love. It can start in families and between neighbors and grow into our school boards and our government. Instead of having conversations that begin with fear for the future, start conversations that are filled with hope for the future.

How I would love to hear a news story that polls the nation on creative solutions and hopeful ideas and empowering options for our children and for any struggling to believe that it will get better.

America and beyond, I encourage you to start today by mining all the love you have in you and giving it purpose. Share it in a tweet, a Facebook post, a smile or a prayer. Any loving gesture will create more love in you and in your world.

Let's reject fear in our conversations and interactions. Let's be mindful of how we allow fear to creep into our lives like an invisible addiction and take responsibility by seeking loving responses and affirming loving decisions. Let us not be tempted to be engaged in fear-based debates or to join fear-based movements. Love does not take sides. Love can free us all. Love can transform our lives. Love can provide creative answers. Love can overcome all fear.

Meditate on Jesus washing your feet.

If you are not actually hanging your feet washed, imagine that you are.
Sit in the position that you would to have your feet washed.
Imagine Jesus is the one doing the washing. What does he look like to you? In what position is he?

With each new thought, especially ones that may be outside your comfort zone, take a deep breath and ruminate on it. Give it a chance to sink in.

Okay, Jesus is in front of you washing your feet.

Can you humbly receive it?
Can you imagine it?
JC wants you to feel like you deserve this type of treatment and care. He wants you to love yourself and have confidence in yourself.
He is trying to show you that this is the love of God that is with you all the time.
We have to receive it.
We have to learn to receive it.
We have kept it at bay for too long.
But it is here right now happening to and inside of us. Receive the love throughout your whole being.

Now imagine that Jesus is picking up your right foot holding it over the water basin.
He is pouring cool clean water over your foot. As he does this the dirt of the miles you have travelled up to this point are being washed away, carried away by the clean water.

You can let that dirt go too. You no longer have to carry that dirt with you everywhere you go.
Your right foot is clean and Jesus is delighting at your ability to release the dirt to expose your beautiful foot.
He sees that you now realize that together you and he release your baggage and together expose the healthy and beautiful you.

Now do the same with the other foot. Imagine Jesus picking it up and cleansing it in the same way. Release years of stress. Release fears and guilt. Release stress of trying to live up to others standards. Release the tension of not caring for yourself all these years.
Receive the love that Jesus has for you. Begin to own your own ability to create love with Jesus. Accept the liberation and feel lighter.

Now marvel at your beautiful clean feet and hold the intention that you are a powerful co-creator with Jesus to show that same love to others who need to expose it in themselves.

Do you believe the kingdom of heaven is here? Do you believe that Jesus came to usher it in?
Do you live in it?
If not, what is holding you back from accepting it as a reality now?
Answer this for yourself.
Are there external power agencies that you blame for creating something other than what you believe the heaven to be?
What responsibility do you accept for contributing to those agencies? Have you given your power to them by merely believing they are more powerful than the life giving source?

Are there individuals in your life who are treating you in a manner that you believe is contrary to the kingdom of heaven? How have you given them your power? How have you believed what they said about you that was contrary to God's view of you?

Now is the time to accept the kingdom of heaven. It is here. Heaven is as close as each breath.
Breathe in the Spirit breath now and receive this holy love. Let each breath permeate your being making you radiate from the inside out.
Accept that love is the energy that makes you feel good. Love is the holy power that gives you joy. Now you understand the creator, as love is spirit of creativity.
Believe and experience this love of yourself. The big beautiful universe that we live in is abundant with love and motion. Feel that motion as you are a part of this creation. Begin to see yourself as intimately connected with the divine that breathes in you.

Now with each breath allow yourself to be free of the deceptions of the false powers. All the ideas and people that take away the beauty of you and of the kingdom of heaven. As you exhale, release the stress of ugliness and destruction that you have allowed in your life.

When you are done letting go of the false powers look around at the kingdom that you were meant to live in. Revel in the beauty. Inhale the creativity. And give thanks for the gift of heaven and the freedom to live in it every moment.

When people are given the tools they need, they can build anything! This is true in our spiritual lives as well.

As I stated in yesterday's post, I have spent the last year immersing myself in the world of spirituality. Today I offer something I've learned about practice. I call it Active Spirituality.

This is a big change from what I see in the church as passive religion. In active spirituality each individual recognizes the divine in herself and in others. In passive religion individuals are more likely encouraged to think of God as outside of them and likely not in the other if not in oneself.

Seeing ourselves as separated from God or the divine or the Holy makes it so hard to live a life inspired by our own spiritual creativity. It separates us from the beauty of our uniqueness and It creates all the dualism that is the root of isms and war. We talk about living God's will for our lives as if our minds have any creative thoughts apart from God. When all wisdom is divine wisdom. All creativity comes from the creator spirit.

That wisdom, that creativity, that love, that joy is the Divine, the Spirit Breath, the beauty of the earth, the passion that motivates us to create more of it because it is wonderful.

Active Spirituality is a leap for the current church, but it is not a leap in theology. Spirituals do this inner work of taking time not only to recognize the divine(as in worship) and to talk to the divine(as in prayer), but to see the divine, to sense the divine, to manifest and co-create with the divine, to listen at every turn for the divine through physical and emotional feelings.

Divine guidance then becomes awareness and simply living. With this guidance more transformations come about as women and men and children are empowered with the knowledge that power is within them.

My own children tell me daily how God has given them insight into their lives which builds their spiritual identities and spiritual self confidence. I love seeing the joy they feel from the self worth they have gained in this practice of listening for God through their senses. They have a sense of value that only God and them together can teach them. They experience being valued. It thrills me to think they will also be adults who have never learned oppression. Empowerment has been a way of life for them already.

Spirituality is not new to the church, but it has been spoon-fed to people for too long. Somewhere along the way we began to see ourselves as bad and in need and accepted that we had no power. We began to name God and people with titles and authority as the powerful, but we missed it in ourselves. We have become the needy that we speak of.

It is time to return to the Eden when we inhaled the divine with each breath. It is time to reverse the curse of sin and embrace the creation(ourselves, others and all living things.) We can experience this joy again if we allow ourselves to be empowered.

If you are interested in how to practice Active Spirituality in your life, contact me by email or on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn.

I am available for individual counseling and classes, workshops and speaking engagements.

Or you can visit my professional website at www.kathleenlambertonline.com

Peace and many blessings are waiting for you to receive them.

I feel the need to write this for whatever it is worth to the world.

After spending a year immersing myself in the spiritual world and completely embracing the world of spirituality apart from the church I have come to some realizations.

What I have found in common with most spiritual philosophies or “modalities” as they are called is that 1) God, the divine, source, universal energy of life or any other name for the higher being or power is within all people and all living things. Spiritualities that understand this to be true seek experiences and practices that nurture the inner or inward connection to this higher being or power. Much more could be said, but that is enough to make this point.

And 2) All spiritual “growth,” though I hate to use the word growth because of the connotation attached to it by the church, begins with the foundation that all is good or positive and that good and positive begets more good and positive. 

With these two points, there is a lot of spiritual work that can be done, especially in the grasping of the two ideas. And many are happier and living spiritually enriched lives in the process of grasping these two ideas. 

So it is at this point that I go back to the church and wonder “what if?” 

What if the church could grasp these two ideas? Would it look different? Is it even possible? How would it be better?

And then I came to this.

If the church could give up “sin,” “hell” and “the devil.” we would all be a lot better off. And I think more people would go or come back to church. By starting with the idea that we are created with original sin, we place ourselves first in a place of lack and need. We then work on eradicating ourselves of sin, but setting ourselves up for inevitable failure with a theology that insists we are forever sinful, though Jesus/God forgives and we are to forever forgive. This goes on for our lifetimes only to get the end of life reward of paradise for a self-depreciating life.

Following this theology, if we are lucky and asked for and received enough forgiveness, that is, for every possible sin, then we won’t suffer the eternal punishment of hell. Somehow, though we have set this impossible goal, that we shroud in mystery, of getting to heaven and not going to hell, we believe that some will actually go to hell, but it won’t be us. So hell then in connection with the means to go there, namely sin, becomes only a tool of power and threat. If we believe that that there is a hell and that some will go, but not us, we assign ourselves a position of judgement over others, even our Christian brothers and sisters.  I realize that this is way oversimplifying, but I am trying to get to a point.
 

Here is a post that diverges from the dogmatic conversation to a different kind if divine experience. My husband, Adam Lambert, PhD and home chef extraordinaire, improved upon his ritualistic after turkey soup to treat our family to what I can only describe as food euphoria. By adding not only the usual leftovers, but the surprise ball of stuffing to the bottom of the soup bowl he brought comfort food to a new high for us.

He tells me that this was the invention of his grandmother, who having lived through the depression found a way to stretch every nutritious morsel from the thanksgiving feast. For Adam, making the soup is akin to a spiritual experience as he channels his grandmother's resourcefulness while simultaneously giving the turkey immortal life through the next generation.

I share this experience with you in hopes that it will be life-giving to you and your neighbors.

Thanksgiving Turkey Soup

This is an attempt to write down a recipe that was handed down to me from my grandmother. She would make this soup from the carcass of the thanksgiving or Christmas turkey when she would come to visit. The process would take two days and would occupy everybody in the house. Some of the warmest memories I have of the holidays growing up centered around making this soup. So having said that, I shouldn't expect any bad reviews. Also, this recipe leaves a lot of room for the cook to adjust the flavor to taste so the end product needs to taste good to you.

The recipe uses leftovers from the holiday meal, and therefore some of the ingredients require the preparation of other items. Namely, the stuffing and the giblet gravy. These recipes can be provided later so that on the off chance you want to make authentic Lambert Turkey soup, you can. Otherwise use your own gravy and stuffing recipes if you prefer. Also this recipe makes A LOT OF SOUP so be prepared to share with neighbors, and freeze for later.

Turkey Soup

Ingredients

1 turkey carcass well stripped of meat.
1-2 lbs mixed white and dark meat turkey
4 large onions
3 lbs carrots
1 head of celery
2 lb corn (frozen or leftover)
4-5 lbs of potatoes.
32 oz chicken stock
Good quality chicken bullion.
Onion powder
Garlic powder
Black pepper
Kosher salt (or sea salt) - its for taste, and it's only salt. I would use stuff from the lab and it would work as well.

Optional ingredients include green beans, mushrooms, parsnip, and yams (or sweet potatoes - recd by Mario Batali).

Turkey Stock

Place the turkey carcass In a large pot (3-5 gallon) and cover with water ( I use filtered from the fridge). Add in 2 onions ( coarsely cut), 1 pound of carrots (peeled and coarse cut, and the celery stalk (the green leafy bits and small parts after rinsing and separating from the root)
Note:
1) crack the large bones on the turkey to expose the marrow and flavor. I use my chefs knife, but a cleaver would work as well.
2) save the good green part of the celery as that will be added to the soup.

Stock contd.

Place the pot on the stove and bring to a boil. Once boiling reduce the heat and simmer loosely covered for 2-4 hrs. The goal is to get the carcass to fall apart.

After the carcass has fallen apart, remove the stock from the heat and strain the liquid into another pot of equal volume. Reserve the liquid for the soup.

Place the strained solids into a roasting pan and let cool. Once cool pick out all of the meat and set aside for the soup. Toss out the bones( other than the wish bone- save that for the kids), veggies, and non meat bits of the turkey( I.e veins and connective tissue, or of you like, purée them and add them back to the stock as their is a lot to be said for the favors and textures of the undesirable bits). While performing this step contemplate how much we as a society waste.

Note: this is a good stopping point for the day. Unless you started at 9:00 am. The stock, and salvaged turkey meat can be refrigerated until the next day.

The Soup (Finally)

Place the pot with the turkey/veggie stock on the stove. Add about a tsp or so of salt and the chicken stock. Turn the burner on medium heat. Add the potatoes (cut into big chunks), carrots (peeled and cut into 1/4-1/2 in segments), 2 onions( finely minced), corn, the rest of the celery stalk (cut into 1/8 in or so slices), turkey from the carcass and the 1-2 lbs mixed white and dark meat turkey. Any other veggies add at will- have fun with it. Additional stock may be added to avoid the creation of a stew ( the soup should be hearty, but not a stew). Additional veggies may be added if the soup is too thin. ( Remember this is grandmas recipe).

This is the point where other spices are added. Add generous amounts of onion powder, garlic powder, and pepper (the onion powder and garlic powder might send chills Dow the spine of a food purist, but grandma approves). I usually add enough to cover the surface of the liquid. At this point you will be saying "this recipe makes A LOT OF SOUP".

Allow the soup to simmer until the veggies are cooked. (usually 2 hrs at a simmer). Once the veggies are cooked add in the left over gravy. Add in the good quality bullion, salt, pepper, garlic powder, and onion powder to taste. Allow so simmer on low setting for 30 minutes and serve.


Serving (this is the best part)

This is how I made it this year and probably will for the rest of my life

Place a ball of reheated stuffing in a bowl and ladle a generous amount of soup over it. Sprinkle with fresh parsley and enjoy.

Accolades and praise should follow. Pat yourself on the back and get a smooch from grandma.

"You need to honor yourself," she said to me as I fumbled around for the right words for my brief bio. 

What a change from the church. I don't think I have ever been encouraged to "honor myself," but the opposite; to conform. 

All my work up to this point has been about furthering the message of the church and if anything to deny self. And even in my own unique way of furthering the message, I have had to check it against the dogma of the church. I've been encouraged to "think out side the box," but only so far. If I understood  a biblical passage to mean living out social justice, it's been okay to preach and teach it, but to actually do it, well that had to be approved, examined, ratified and validated. As long as I was conforming to all the church values then it was okay. Needing permission to live who I was divinely called to be has been my experience so far.

This is a big epiphany for me. I did not realize what a strong hold the church has had over my being myself. I admit that I have a bit of a dysfunctional need for approval, but how much of that has been imposed upon me? When I look back at recent events with the church, I have to think that I did not make this up. When I resigned from my last call (my job as pastor at a church) it was not pretty. I needed to heal. But when I received a phone call from a minister on a committee that is supposed to advocate for pastors telling me to "stop performing religious activities," I think I began to feel as if I was being watched. Like someone under house arrest. And what had been my crime? Meeting with others who needed to heal; others who had left the church. I was and am a minister. This is who I divinely understand myself to be. Honoring myself has not come easy.

Lately, I have seen a number of my friends and virtual friends publicly state who they are as gay, lesbian or queer. And I admit that I am a little envious. I know that I can't fully grasp what my friends have been going through, but I deeply admire what it must have taken them to bravely reveal a part of them that has been hidden. And I admire that even knowing that there may be more pain ahead, more confrontation, they still chose to honor themselves. I imagine how liberated they must feel. And I want to be liberated too. 

So I begin with this post. I am a minister. That is one way I divinely understand myself. And I am Reiki. I recognize the divine within me and I seek the divine in others. And the divine is so beautiful. I will lead a workshop/gathering for anyone who wants to experience the divine energy of a community. I am grateful for my training and my experiences that have brought me to this point. I embrace what I am co-creating with the divine and with others and it brings me great joy.  Just for today, I honor myself. 

Because that ship has sailed.

 Having been an ordained pastor in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), I understand bureaucracy. I know that it can get in the way of a deep spiritual life. Today people are faced with many difficult issues. They are looking for spiritual answers to give their lives meaning. But when they turn to religion they often find politics instead of guidance, assistance, or meaning, so they turn away from church all together. 


That’s okay. 


The church is trying to figure itself out too. and that’s okay. 

The problem is that in the meantime, people are still having problems.

My suggestion is that we start from scratch. Let’s first recognize the worth of all people. Worth is deserved from birth and is not attributed to beliefs or practices.

I was having a conversation with Brian Merritt on Twitter this morning about this. We were discussing how community is built. He mentioned that people from poorer backgrounds often relate through stories. This is an important point to recognize how people communicate. Too often, at least in the church hierarchy, church leaders talk in philosophical intellectual snob-ese and assume that they get it. 

But the people that they are philosophizing about are not included in the conversation. 

A friend of mine was excluded from church "community" based on what was publicly known about her: she didn't have a high school diploma, had tattoos and didn't dress in suits. Yet she had a patience with children that was unmatched in the church.

In a smaller group atmosphere she told her story of repeated sexual abuse and neglect while growing up. She never went to counseling. Yet she is the most well adjusted woman I know. She never gets depressed despite her socio-economic situation. She keeps an immaculate house. She attends all her kids' events at school. She never has a bitter word to say about anyone. 

Someone like my friend has been excluded from church. Is it because churches do not speak the same language? Is there no room for hearing stories? Can churches even hear her story anymore?

I offered to Brian that I had recently learned that in American Indian culture a person is named based on how she is viewed as a contribution to the community. How cool is this that American Indians start with the assumption that everyone has value? Then they name that value! They reinforce not only the person's worth with the name, but also the community's view of the person's worth.

I am left wondering how much better our society would be if we started with this assumption: that all have value.

Could we learn from smaller demographics in our society about how to be a community? Because people are still being hurt, we need to rely on each other to get through it all. 

I know there is a much larger conversation here. I am purposely not drawing heady conclusions, because I want to be open to hearing stories and reinforcing worth.

In my opinion, the big ship of organized religion has sailed. Maybe to be greeted on the other side with welcoming arms for an eternal rest. 

Can spirituality offer something different? I think so. 

I personally get anxious if I am talking about church politics too much. I get physically ill arguing minutia and refuting ugliness and aggression. I want to hear other's points of view, but I want to be affirmed. And I know that I am not alone.

Between all the details and responsibilities of life, most are too busy to even get involved in these arguments. What people want is to be heard and understood. And they want hope and a way forward.

Let's just start with that and see where it takes us. Let's begin to listen to each other without putting labels, judgements or assumptions on anyone. Let's start with affirming each other. Let's begin seeking the value in each other.